Community, I choose to be seen (Feb 20 Nermalis Vera).

If we haven't met, or if I didn't get a chance to talk to you before service, come find me after. I'd really love to say hi. So last week, Ashley Smith, who's one of our church-supported missionaries, kicked off our mini-series on community by talking with a powerful message about missional living. She talked to us about how in a culture of self-centeredness, we choose the path of missional living. This week, I want to continue our little mini-sermon series on community, and this is our big idea.

In a culture of deception, we choose the accountability that comes with community. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you because you are God of love and abundance of grace. You are kind and you are steadfast and you see us for all that we are, all that we've done, and you welcome us in with all your love and all your grace. You are so good to us. So I pray that as we move through this message that your Holy Spirit speak and be present with us. Lord, I pray that any shame or condemnation in this room, even now before the word goes out, that it fall away. And that we're able to be present and soft and ready to hear your word and to respond. In your holy name I pray. Amen.

Accountability: what we fear

So we're talking about accountability. And when we hear accountability, we panic a little bit. When we hear accountability, we either hear accountability plus correction equals judgment, or we hear accountability means trusting people, which equals rejection. And we fear both of those things. Accountability is not the pretty part of a relationship. It's not the part that we get excited about. It's not the part that we want to talk about. Actually, it's the part that we actively avoid experiencing.

But because we avoid accountability without realizing it, we ultimately avoid intimate relationships. And we avoid growth towards God and one another. True accountability is an element of a mature, long-standing, and growing relationship with both God and fellow Christ followers. True accountability is humbling. True accountability leads to wise living, which is a combination of knowledge of God through his word and experience of living that word out.

True accountability is a constant reminder that we need God's grace daily to live for him in our time and in our culture. True accountability is honest, loving, grace-filled, and challenging. True accountability is a form of encouragement. Burke Parsons said, biblical accountability is first and foremost an arm around the shoulder, not a finger pointing in the face. I want to open by saying that, because it's very easy for anybody who is struggling with pride to hear, okay, we're supposed to hold each other accountable. And really, that's just that judgment that just rises up in you when you start doing this thing at people. But true accountability is not just telling people what they're doing wrong.

It's bending down, lifting them up, and walking with them to do better. Holding one another accountable is the very essence of discipleship. Holding one another accountable is encouraging and edifying one another to know Christ more. This is about helping each other become more like Jesus. This is how we partner with our brothers and sisters to fulfill our mission of becoming like Jesus.

What is biblical accountability

So what is biblical accountability. The simplest, most obvious definition for this is biblical accountability is giving an account. In Hebrews 4:13, it says:

No creature is hidden from him, but all things are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give an account.

Hebrews 4:13

The accountability that takes place within the context of community and in our relationships with one another is ultimately based on this ultimate form of accountability to God. First and foremost, we are held accountable to God. Whether we actively participate in that accountability, whether we choose to come to him in confession, we are accountable to God. Then our accountability and relationship with one another is based on that.

Biblical accountability is according to the clear standard of God's word. When the world talks about accountability, it's not always super clear what the standard is. One day, it's okay to do something, and the next day, it's not anymore. One day spinach is the health food of the world, and the next day, it's kale. Like, it changes all the time, and we're not always sure what the standard is. And sometimes, unfortunately, that same ambiguity will creep its way into our Christian culture and into our churches.

But the Bible plainly emphasizes that real accountability is based on one standard and that is God's unchanging word. There is a standard. One standard. And God is the one who sets it.

My rule of thumb for holding people accountable. I will hold you to the standard of life that you profess to live by. I will hold you to the standard of life that you profess to live by. Romans 2:12 explains that people are held accountable to God's word to whatever extent they understand it. It says:

All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law.

Romans 2:12

In other words, the more you know, the greater your level of accountability. The standard of life you profess to live by is the standard to which you will be held accountable. So that means that different people are going to be held to different standards. A non-believer versus a believer. If you profess to be a Christian and Jesus is the Lord of your life, the standard you are held accountable to is the Bible. If that's not you, and you're in this room and that's not you, okay. I'm not going to hold you accountable to that standard. A new believer versus a mature believer. That changes how much we understand scripture. That changes how much we know. It's the concept of when you know better, you do better. If you don't know better, you can't be expected to do better. But now you know, so I expect you to do. Leaders versus participants. Scripture talks about how leaders are held to a higher standard of accountability.

We set each other up for failure when we do not hold people to a standard. How many leaders have we seen fall because they took on a title of leadership, took on a platform of leadership, took on the burden of leadership and they did not have the integrity, the character, or community of accountability to hold them to a standard. If our leaders don't have accountability in their lives, they will fall.

How many people choose not to follow Christ simply based on the way that believers live. How many people say, I'm not interested in the Bible, I'm not interested in Jesus, I'm not interested in Christianity, because the Christians I know that are supposed to represent Jesus don't live by any type of standard. I'm not talking about the pastor. I'm not talking about the leaders right now. I'm talking about the lady who's been following Jesus for 15 years. But you know, whatever you say to her, you don't even have to get all the way out of the room before five people already know what you said. I'm talking about the three people at the church that have been saved since they were two years old. Now they're 55. And you know, somehow they're still racist. If Christians are not held to a biblical standard, our evangelism, our teachings, our service is all rendered empty.

Accountability is personal

Biblical accountability is in the context of personal relationship. When the Bible talks about giving an account, it's never personal, it's never detached. Biblical examples of accountability are always personal. One of my favorite biblical examples of accountability is found in Galatians 2, verses 11 through 14. I'm not going to read the whole thing, but I am going to give you the summary.

There are these three people. Paul, Peter, and Barnabas. And they're friends. They're like friends that went to Bible college together. And they all went their separate ways. They were doing ministry. And Paul rolls up on Peter and Barnabas at a ministry and they're being super hypocritical. They're preaching one thing and they're living another way. They're falling into the peer pressure of the community around them.

Paul says:

When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face as he stood condemned. When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in front of them all, you are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it then that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?

Galatians 2:11-14

This is an example of accountability among peers. It was not a random person off the street. It was not a random human being that didn't have a relationship with Peter, who's called Cephas in this, that came and held him accountable. It was a peer. It was a person who had a relationship with him and knew him. Relationship matters in accountability.

Accountability starts with the smallest circle, and it expands outward. Our lives, the things that we do, the things that affect us, the people it affects most closely are the people closest to us. And those are the same people that we're to be held accountable to. You do not need to tell everyone your business. I'm naturally inclined to be a really, really private person. I work really hard to not be as overly private as I am. It's corrupting me and makes me want to be a hermit. But that's not what I'm doing.

But with that being said, I can count on one hand the people in my life who have access to hold me accountable. And they do. These ones that have given them permission to hold me accountable, it is my responsibility to be teachable and receive correction from the people that are in my inner circle. But I just want to make it really clear, this is not an invitation to be like an overshare. The call to accountability is not a call to posting all your dirty laundry on Facebook. Don't do that, okay.

Why accountability matters

So why is accountability important. Accountability is important because two are better than one. We talk about the scripture all the time in the context of marriage, but I think because we always associate it with marriage, we've forgotten that every part of scripture is applicable to every single one of us. This is about more than just marriage relationship. It's about intimate relationship. And the person you're married to is not the only person you have intimate relationship with.

Accountability is important because it makes us better. It's that simple. It makes us better. Proverbs 27:17 explains the benefit of accountability in relationships. It says:

Iron sharpens iron and one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Using the thing of like iron sharpening iron, right. Like swords. If you're dull, if you feel like your life is feeling very dull and you're not very sharp right now, I challenge you to pause and see. Is there anyone around me who sharpens me. And with that I want to say. Is there anyone around me I'm willing to let sharpen me. If I don't currently have one, this isn't the easy part. I love that the examples iron sharpening iron. That's literally iron slamming up against another piece of metal. It's not a soft or gentle process. It can hurt, but we need it because it makes us better.

Even psychology says that accountability helps people accomplish their goals in virtually any realm of life. Accountability is important because it reflects the image of God. The Bible teaches that accountability's importance goes deeper than its practical and self-improvement benefits. It's important because we were created in the image of God. As image bearers, we're communal and we're intended for fellowship. At creation, God's first critique of his creation is this. This dude shouldn't be alone. We need somebody.

Biblical accountability means living out our relationships as communal creatures, sharing God's image. This communal aspect of our nature creates a responsibility to live life truthfully with one another. Proverbs 28:13 says:

The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy.

Proverbs 28:13

So accountability is important for integrity between ourselves and others. Accountability is important because it's based on our connection to Christ. Once we come into relationship with Christ, the game changes. Romans 6:5 tells us:

For if we have been united with him in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection.

Romans 6:5

We've been given a special connection to Christ once we come under the blood, once we come into salvation with him. We become more connected. Colossians 3:1 says:

So if you've been raised with Christ, seek the things above where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

Colossians 3:1

Connection to Christ fundamentally changes our accountability relationship to God. For those in Christ, accountability stops being this scary and terrifying thing that we want to run away from. And it becomes freedom. That is what is on the other side of this Christ-filled accountability. It's freedom. It's healing. It's restoration. And that is all because we have a connection to Christ.

Accountability is important because it connects us to the body of Christ. Our connection to Christ also means that we're organically connected to other Christians. In 1 Corinthians 12:26, it explains that this connection means everything we do and experience affects every member of the body. So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it. If one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. James 5:16, which was one of my favorite scriptures, says:

Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.

James 5:16

A culture of confession and accountability is not about absolution. Only God can offer you that. A culture of confession and accountability is about healing. It says, confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed. Galatians 6:1-2 tells us that we have a responsibility to this. It says:

Brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, you who are of spiritual maturity, restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves that you also won't be tempted. Carry one another's burdens, and this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:1-2

And finally, accountability is important because it sets us free. We see that accountability is about restoration, not condemnation. In fact, Paul warns against legalistic, condemning types of accountability. In Galatians 5:1, he says:

For freedom, Christ set us free. Stand firm then, and don't submit again to the yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

And what that means to me when I'm reading that, it says, okay, this is how we discern. Am I feeling convicted or am I being condemned. If it's conviction, it's for your freedom. If someone's coming to you and holding you accountable, they're pulling you out of the pit. If someone's condemning you, they're pushing you into it. It is for freedom's sake that we've been set free.

I choose to be seen

I titled today's message Community. I choose to be seen. My favorite name for God in the Bible. It's only used one time. And it's used pretty early on in the beginning. It's found in Genesis 16:13 and it says El Roy.

El Roy, and it means the God who sees me. In a culture of deception, we choose the accountability that comes with community. When God has given that name in Genesis 16:13, it says:

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her. You are the God who sees me. For she said, I have now seen the one who sees me.

Genesis 16:13

Accountability is making the choice to be fully seen by your people. Accountability is making the choice to be fully known. It's making the choice to come out of hiding. And that's really scary. But you cannot be fully loved if you are not fully seen.

What is the point of doing life together just to walk away not being loved. It is the deepest desire of the human heart to experience godly love, and it is the ploy of the enemy to teach us to hide, because he knows that we cannot be fully loved if we are not fully seen. So he can teach us to cower and shame then we'll never be seen and we'll never be loved.

The moment sin enters into the world at the fall in Genesis, the first consequence of sin is they were shamed and so they hid. They were shamed and so they hid. I want to challenge you today. Do not hide. Do not hide. Do not hide.

Tim Challis wrote, God has helped me understand that accountability is closely tied to visibility. And that personal holiness will not come through anonymity, but through deep and personal relationships with my brothers and sisters in the local church. And so I have sought to make myself more visible, that I may accept correction and rebuke when necessary. At the same time, I have renewed my commitment to the one who is always watching and who knows every word I write and every intention of my heart.

Right now I'm going to challenge you guys to be honest with God, to be honest with yourself, and to choose to be honest with community. A really big part of my story is this concept of accountability.

My story of freedom

I got saved when I was 15 years old and I always say that the big moment for me nobody came and prayed over me. Nobody asked me to do that. I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, you know, the whole thing that we say. Nobody came and did that with me. I was at a youth convention that I didn't want to be at. My parents were like, let's go. And I very stubbornly went. That's when my life was not following Jesus and I very stubbornly went up to every single altar call and I kid you not stood there at the altar just waiting. I was very much like proving a point like okay this is supposed to be so powerful this is supposed to be so good watch me stand here and nothing happen every altar call. I did for four days. For the morning service and the night service.

And the very last night of this convention, I'm almost embarrassed to say it because it's too old for this to be acceptable, but I slept through the preaching. I cannot tell you what that preacher said. I remember his name, Andres [inaudible]. I cannot tell you a word he preached. But I woke up for the altar call, marched my tail up to the front, and stood there. And I truly, I don't know when it happened, but I just started talking. And if I'm honest, I think I was talking to God. I don't know if I was talking to God, if I was talking to myself.

But for the very first time, I put words to the experiences I had that led me to getting to where I was. For the very first time, I said, God, I'm really messed up. I'm really messed up. And I put words to the things done to me, and I put words to the things I had done. And then suddenly I was crying, and I was like, oh, what's happening. And I kept talking, and then I moved from me just talking to me. I was like, okay, now I'm crying. And I said, okay, God, so this is my honest truth. This is my honest truth. I have sinned bad.

And not because I didn't know better. I knew better, and I chose not to do better. And God, I have been hurt really, really bad. And I don't think you were there for me. And I, with everything in me, I have a tattoo in a storm that says, if we're honest, with everything in me, I believe that God showed up in that moment just because I was willing to be honest about how I felt. I truly believe God was just waiting for me to stop faking it and say, God, I can't do this so that he could say, that's okay, I can.

So that was the moment that I encountered Jesus and decided to live for him. And then two months later, I had this like weird sensation that I wasn't familiar with yet. Now I know it's the Holy Ghost. But it's just like this weird feeling in my chest. And like the words were like coming out of my throat. It's like I have to tell somebody. I have to tell somebody. There's this sin in my life and I cannot get a grip on it. And I just know this is going to be the death of me.

Literally. I have to tell somebody. So we're in a small group Bible study, and it's my sister and my youth pastor and one of the girls I grew up with. And I was so scared. If you know me, when I get scared, my ears turn bright red. Oh, they were so hot. They were burning. And I was shaking, and we're at Starbucks. And I look at my youth pastor, and I was like, I have to say something. And I looked back down, and I looked at the table, and I said everything.

I confessed the sin I was walking through, this thing I couldn't get past. I told them everything that happened, and I did not want to look up. I finished talking, I've stayed down like this. And I saw a slide into my vision, her hand. And I looked up and she had tears streaming down her face. My sister, who didn't know anything, had tears streaming down her face. My friend who knows me my whole life, crying. And my youth pastor held my hand and said, we're going to do this together. And that moment changed everything.

I broke an addiction because she held my hand. And I promise you, that is what God does when we come to the throne of grace and just be honest. There is freedom. There is healing. There is restoration on the other side of our willingness to lay down our shame, to lay down our condemnation, and tell the truth. But that starts with you having to be honest with you and you having to be honest with God. And then from that, you can have an accountability community that's going to hold your hand and say, we're going to do this together. I'm going to hold you with me. I'm going to bear your burdens. And we're going to go to the foot of the cross together.

Invitation to freedom

I'm going to invite everybody to stand up on your feet. We're going to go into another time of worship. And there are going to be two people standing in the back. I might join them. Pastor Abbie is going to be back there. And Gavin is going to be there. And I want to invite you. So right now, if you need a little bit of support, right. I'm not telling you you have to go back there. Right now, this is your moment to confess everything to them. That's all I'm saying.

What I am saying is this is the hard part. This is the hard part. Healing is not easy. But I believe with everything in my heart and soul, and it's not because I read it in a book. It's because I lived it and it's my story. On the other side of your honesty is your freedom. So there are people standing back there that are going to join with you and pray with you. I'm going to pray first. But I want to invite you, do not let shame keep you in your seat. If you need someone to pray with you, go receive prayer.

James 5:16 says so that we might pray over one another. That we might pray over one another to receive our healing. For the prayer of a righteous person can do powerful things. So if that's you, I want you to go back there. If that's not you, I still want to challenge you in your seat. Take some time to be honest with God. And let him see it all. Repentance is hard. But man, it's how we get closer to God. So I want to invite you to come into that.

I'm going to pray, and then [Elena's] going to lead us over. Jesus, we thank you. We thank you because you're a healing God, and you're a loving God. We thank you because you are the God who sees us. And you see it all, and you still say, I love you. Come here. Lord, I thank you because you join us in the process of growth. You join us in the process of healing. You do not leave us to figure it out on our own. You walk the walk beside us and you give us people to be your hands and feet.

Lord, I pray for each and every person in this room. I pray that you raise people up around them to be like my pastor was, to hold their hand and to be like you. Lord, I pray that you empower them to be like you. God, I pray that we choose the hard path of walking in biblical accountability instead of the easy path that will leave us in brokenness and shame. Jesus, right now, I choose freedom. And I pray that that freedom be unleashed in each and every person's heart in this room. In your holy name I pray, amen.